postpartum is already a lot—new baby, new body, new emotions. For neurodivergent moms, especially those with PDA traits, hygiene tasks can trigger a distress response because these feel like demands, not choices.
Reader more...
Hey mamas, especially my neurodivergent superstars! 😘
Postpartum is a wild ride, and for some of us, everyday tasks like showering or brushing teeth can feel like huge demands that spark stress or overwhelm. If you’re nodding along thinking, “Am I the only one struggling with this?”—you’re not alone. For moms with a PDA profile (or similar neurodivergent traits), hygiene can feel less like self-care and more like a chore someone’s pushing on you. Add in sensory sensitivities, body changes from birth, and all the “perfect mom” vibes from social media, and it’s no wonder it feels tough.
But here’s the thing: you got this, mama, and we can make hygiene work for you by honoring your need for autonomy and comfort. Let’s chat about why this happens and some practical ways to make it easier, like we’re catching up in doula school.
Why Hygiene Tasks Feel Overwhelming
Postpartum is already a lot—new baby, new body, new emotions. For neurodivergent moms, especially those with PDA traits, hygiene tasks can trigger a distress response because they feel like demands, not choices. Here’s what might be going on:
Sensory Sensitivities: The water’s too hot or too cold, the soap’s texture feels gross, or the sound of the shower is just too much. Postpartum hormones and fatigue can make these sensations even more intense.
Loss of Autonomy: When you’re told you “should” shower or brush your teeth to “feel better,” it can feel like someone’s taking away your control, especially when you’re already juggling baby’s needs.
Anxiety Around Body Changes: Your postpartum body might feel unfamiliar—maybe from a C-section scar or breastfeeding changes—and that can make hygiene tasks feel unpredictable or out of control.
Executive Functioning Struggles: Figuring out when to shower, grabbing the right products, or even starting the task can feel like climbing a mountain when your brain’s in postpartum fog.
Social Pressure and Masking: Trying to “look put-together” for visitors or social media can lead to exhaustion, especially if you’re masking to fit society’s “good mom” mold.
Why aren’t we talking more about this? These challenges can hit your mental health hard, but when we support your autonomy and comfort, we’re helping you shine as the amazing mom you are. That’s how we start rebuilding a stronger, kinder world—one mama at a time.
Practical Ways to Make Hygiene Feel Good
The goal is to create a sense of felt safety and autonomy around hygiene, so it feels like a choice you’re making for you, not a demand. Here are some doula-inspired, neurodivergent-friendly strategies to try:
Customize Your Sensory Experience
What to Do: Turn your hygiene routine into a sensory-friendly treat. Pick a soap with a scent you love (or unscented if that’s your jam). Try a soft washcloth if sponges feel yucky. Adjust the shower to a temperature that feels just right—maybe even dim the lights for a spa vibe.
How It Helps: This reduces sensory overload, which is huge for neurodivergent moms. It’s like creating a postpartum sensory toolkit (like we’ve talked about before!).
Example: “I keep a lavender body wash that feels like a hug. 🌿 Wanna try picking one product that sparks joy for you?”
Flip the Script on Autonomy
What to Do: Make hygiene your choice by framing it as self-care you control. Try a “menu” approach: write down 2–3 tasks (e.g., “brush teeth,” “wipe down with a warm cloth”) and pick one when you’re ready. No pressure, just what feels good.
How It Helps: This honors your PDA need for autonomy, reducing the “demand” feeling. It’s like choosing your own adventure in postpartum self-care.
Example: “Some days I just splash my face and call it a win. What’s one tiny self-care move you wanna try today, mama?”
Ease Body Change Anxiety with Gentle Support
What to Do: Acknowledge your postpartum body’s changes with kindness. If C-section scars or breastfeeding shifts feel overwhelming, try a quick ritual before hygiene—like a deep breath and saying, “My body’s doing amazing things.” You could also work with a pediatric osteopath to ease physical tension (like we talked about in the blog) if that’s affecting how you feel.
How It Helps: This builds self-compassion and connects to your advocacy for holistic care, like osteopathy to support post-C-section recovery.
Example: “My C-section scar felt so foreign at first, but I’m learning to love it. Wanna try a gentle affirmation like ‘I’m enough’ before your next shower?”
Break Down Executive Function Barriers
What to Do: Make tasks tiny and easy. Keep a “hygiene basket” by your bed with dry shampoo, face wipes, and deodorant for low-energy days. Set a timer for 2 minutes to brush your teeth or wash your face—no need to do it all at once.
How It Helps: Smaller steps reduce overwhelm and make starting easier, perfect for postpartum brain fog or PDA resistance.
Example: “I keep face wipes by my nightstand for those ‘no shower’ days. 🌿 What’s one quick hygiene hack you could try?”
Ditch Social Pressure and Masking
What to Do: Give yourself permission to ignore the “perfect mom” myth. Share your real, messy postpartum journey with trusted friends or on social media (like we’re planning for your Instagram!). Connect with other neurodivergent moms to feel less alone—maybe in a community like the one you’re dreaming of building.
How It Helps: This reduces exhaustion from masking and builds a supportive vibe, aligning with your mission to create a mama community that heals society.
Example: “Forget looking ‘put-together’—I’m rocking spit-up chic! Wanna share a real postpartum moment with me? You’re not alone.”
Build a Support Team
What to Do: Lean on pros who get you, like a doula (hi, that’s me!), an IBCLC for breastfeeding support, which can free up your mental space for self-care. Talk to your partner or a friend about taking baby for 10 minutes so you can shower in peace.
How It Helps: A team reduces the mental load, making hygiene feel less like a solo demand. It ties to your blog’s call for osteopath-IBCLC collaboration.
Example: “My doula bestie watches baby so I can sneak a quick shower. 🌿 Who’s on your support squad, mama?”
A Final Hug for You
Your heart guides the love we share, and I’m here to help you find what works for you. Postpartum is tough, but by making hygiene your own—on your terms, with your comfort—you’re taking a big step for your mental health. And when you feel good, you’re lighting the way for your baby and your whole world.
Are any of you mamas noticing these hygiene struggles too? Let’s chat about it! Drop a comment on my Instagram or check under my blog for more ways to support your postpartum journey. You got this, girl! 🌿